Essay

[ Editor’s Note ]Youth may really be very short. In a few years, I have already lost my pride, and there is no longer a young frivolous person, nor is there any flesh and blood.. Most of the time, fame and fortune seem to me to be floating clouds . Ah, expressing the author’s feelings of being a little passive and a little helpless and moaning without illness, and his meditation of looking down on life..     Unconsciously, I haven’t started writing for many months and my life is still calm. After a day in the dormitory, I don’t know what to do. Sometimes a peaceful life will fall into the blind spot of life as well.. In the past few months, I have not read a novel, not written an essay, and occasionally went out to take some photos. instead, I often suffer from insomnia and sometimes make some low-level mistakes because of trivial life, often reminding myself, but sometimes I still can’t control my emotions. life is like an empty dream..   Youth may really be very short. In a few years, I have already lost my pride, and there is no longer a young frivolous or hot-blooded person.. Many times, fame and fortune seem to me only to be floating clouds. I want to record my inner uneasiness with a pen, but I find that my inner uneasiness is only empty, and there is nothing worth recording.   Passion, where is my passion?   After a trip to Shenzhen years ago, I rarely wrote anything. I couldn’t find inspiration at once. In a daze, what did I pursue and what did I expect?. I have not found an answer to the question of whether the disappointment is too deep or the loneliness too deep.. But I can’t find any reason to go there any more. Several brothers said why I didn’t visit them. We were only a hundred kilometers away, three hours by car, but it really seemed to be a long way away.. I haven’t seen you in a few years. Time has really diluted many and many things.   In the past five years, the heart of revisiting the old place has changed from eagerness to calm down, and I have also changed from youth to growth.. Youth are floating and looking for their own dreams. In many cases, reality is more cruel than ideal. Reality will always let people down.. In my life, I have carried too many dreams and too many fetters of reality, which also enables me to treat things and things more rationally. San Mao said: ” Sometimes we have to be cruel to ourselves and can’t tolerate our sad disappointment. Sometimes we have to be cruel to the people we love and put aside the memory of their love” but I will not be disappointed in condoning my sadness, but I will not be cruel to myself, so I will keep wandering and wandering.. And love, is not.   One night, I chatted with my junior high school teacher in charge and said that we hadn’t seen each other for many years.. He said I was pessimistic. I told him that I was not pessimistic, but he didn’t know me very well.. It’s been ten years since junior high school, and there have been some changes in more or less ten years. Most of the students are fathers and mothers.. And I, still lonely struggle in the dream of the road. I believe that people are responsible for things, so I have been pursuing my ideal persistently and will never give up lightly.. As a student, I often failed exams, failed to go to college, had some human factors and had some environmental factors, but all these could not be an excuse to prevent me from going to success..   Life and work, although there are no ups and downs, will always have a bad time, as in my world, and everywhere I live, there are traces of missing.. I am particularly fond of remembering the old. Others say that those who remember the old may be right. I am also particularly fond of feeling, especially eager to reunite with my brothers who have fought together before.. But the distance between time and space often fails to reunite us.