A family letter not ready to be sent out

Dear Mom: Hello!   For nearly ten years, I have been writing to you in my heart. Some words have never dared to tell you. Today, I finally got up the courage to hold up my pen and write to you.. Although I don’t intend to send it out, because you can’t read.   Mom, remember the winter of 2002? I will never forget it. It was New Year’s Eve, when families gathered to celebrate the New Year, you and your father went to Ganzhou City Hospital thousands of miles away from home to spend with their younger brother, leaving me with a large empty house.. In the evening, the rain is hitting the corrugated board in dribs and drabs, and the cold air is full of sadness and loneliness.. I was tossing and turning all night, unable to sleep, thinking about my brother and you. Before he left, dad said, ” I thought for several times and wanted to tell you about your brother’s illness and hospitalization.”: Your mother tried her best to prevent her from distracting you from reading. Father is telling the truth. Mother is such a person. She worries for others in all things. She is in pain and tears, and her teeth are still gnashing.. Mother’s feeling is so sensitive and accurate.   It was the winter of 2000, and I went with my mother to weed the garden. She carefully chipped off the grass beside the green vegetables with a hoe, while I was absent-minded when I took the hoe and chipped off a green vegetable.. Trying to get away with it, you stopped me and carefully tried, ” You’re in love with Ming’s son in the next village.”? ‘ I denied, you don’t trust, repeated persuasion, in order to escape your inquiry, I lied to you.   And you’re right. Because of my youth and recklessness, I put all my thoughts on the table and fell into an unrequited unrequited love.. How many times, scenes like that have reappeared in my mind, like movies. In the summer of 2002, I saw him in the street of the town: in the semi-old street, he helped a semi-old bike and simply said hello to me: ” You are here, too.”. ‘ just in a hurry and don’t. Our meeting was like a nightmare, struggling to follow and torture me. In order to completely forget him, my companions and I spent half a year on the lawn near the school railway every afternoon, walking round and round, tired, setting sun, sitting on the lawn and complaining about sadness.. Sadness is reduced, and the pain brought about by brokenhearted bears deep scars in the heart.   Mom, this is what you told me later. In the autumn of 2002, since my brother was ill in hospital, mom, you have been working hard, not saying a word of bitterness and not shedding a tear.. The younger brother’s condition is good and bad, and he will be ill for almost a year or so. He has to be hospitalized. Every time he is ill, he has to pay expensive medical expenses and hospitalization expenses, and his family has already been in debt.. You humbly borrowed money from relatives and promised when to pay back the money . Ah, you are willing to bear heavy interest and target the rural credit cooperatives . Ah, Mom, please forgive me for my unfilial behavior and can’t stay by your side.. This is the summer of 2011. I was walking on the banks of a river in another country and received a phone call from my cousin. He said, ” Cousin, sister was beaten by her brother and her head was bleeding all over the place …” A sea of blood suddenly appeared in my mind.. It took a long time to believe this fact, and then I went to the bank to remit money to you. I didn’t have the courage to go to the hospital to see you and your brother.   Mom, it’s the eve of Tomb Sweeping Day in 2012. ‘ I am a stranger in a foreign land alone, and I think twice of my relatives every festival.”. I miss you and understand your love for your children: deep and rational.   Today, I wrote to you with a sincere heart, and you endured the pain that ordinary people can’t bear and stood firm.! Please allow me to say to you loudly: Thank you, I will pass on love and courage forever! Wish: Good health! Happy life! Daughter: eiko, April 2